A hell of a year

So far its been a hell of a year of ups and downs. We have a new grandbaby who is a really amazing blessing. She had joined her sister and both girls are so sweet. We also have a new grandpuppy who is the sweetest puppy ever. My daughter is now engaged to a wonderful man who had 3 kids. They are so sweet too. So there are some good things I’m very thankful for. We moved to a new store up on main street. It’s a beautiful place newly remodeled.

The stressful parts are we moved to a new store that is pricier than any place we’ve been at before by a lot. I’m scared we wont be able to afford it but we couldn’t stay where we were either due to issues with other vendors in the place. So good for the new place but stressful due to the money side of it.

I hurt myself and tore my meniscus and took over 4 months for the dr to find and fix. My mom has been in the hospital twice within 2 weeks. So the move in September, surgery in October and mom being in the hospital twice in October and bill collectors banging on my door I just feel helpless, stupid for getting into this fix and dont know how to fix it. Oh and I have a virus bug on top of everything this week.

So am I sick due to stress? I dont know. Do I wish money would fall from the damned sky? Yes! But it isn’t going to happen. Probably gonna wind up losing everything and be back at square one. Plus Bill’s at home are piling up. One son doesn’t talk to me much. But by the same token he is busy with a new baby, wife, toddler and job. So I get it but it still hurts. My daughter went thru a time like that where we didn’t talk much so I’m hoping it’s a phase. I love my kids like crazy and want them to be strong independent people but still want them to need me just a little too ya know?

Just me being a big baby I guess. I hate that the bookstore isn’t a cash cow like jewelry or clothes, antiques etc. But I love books and enjoy it so much. I will do what I normally do in this situation, pray, cry and hope for the best.